Wednesday, March 26, 2014

What to Ask the Orphanage?

Part of our preparation for Sean to travel on this first trip to meet "Abraham" entailed creating a list of questions for him to ask the orphanage staff.  We brainstormed and asked friends for input, and these are the questions on our list, in the order in which they came to us.
  •  How long did he have a Baba (grandmotherly lady who would spend a little 1:1 time with him each day, before the program lost its funding last November), and what was his relationship with her like?
  • Is there any way we can re-hire her or someone else to give our son individual attention?
  • Does he have any special caregivers?
  • Does or has anyone visited him in the orphanage?
  • What name does he respond to?
  • What is his average daily routine?
  • What food does he eat, and what is his mealtime routine/schedule?  
  • Does he have any favorite foods?
  • Does he feed himself?
  • What is his bedtime routine?
  • Do you have any extra (medical) information in his file that we could have a copy of?
  • Do you have any baby photos or photos of him when he was younger?  Videos?  And can we get copies?
  • What is he afraid of?
  • What upsets him, and what is most likely to trigger a tantrum?
  • Has he been baptized?
  • What does he like to do?  Any favorite activities?
  • What toys/items is he attached to?
  • Does he communicate nonverbally, and if so, what kinds of things?  Anything dealing with potty/diaper?
  • Does he listen to any music or watch any TV?
  • Does/has he received any therapies?
  • Has his hearing been tested?
  • Who named him?
  • Any details about his birth?  Did his birthmother give a reason for her choice not to parent him?  Did she hold him?
  • What items would the orphanage like for us to try provide as a donation on the pick-up trip?
  • What is the process for picking him up on the second trip?
  • How does he react to other children specifically?  What does he do?
  • Are holidays celebrated, and if so which ones and how?  Birthdays?
  • Does he have any known allergies or drug allergies?
  • Does he have any food aversions?
  • Any sound, light, taste, tactile, or smell sensitivities?
  • Is he right or left handed?
  • What is his bathing routine?  Does he like or dislike the water?
  • Does he have any dental needs?  Any dental records we could have a copy of?  Has he had any dental work done?
  • Would they characterize his recovery from surgery as slow, average, or fast?
  • How often does he get sick (with colds and the like)?
  • Does he have a preference for male or female caregivers?
  • How does he respond to verbal correction?
  • How is he disciplined for bad behavior?
  • Does he ever become aggressive?
  • Describe a typical tantrum (holding breath, biting, hitting himself, breaking things, etc.)?
  • How often does he play outside?
  • Does he ever try to eat things that aren't food, such as sand, paper, soap, dirt?
  • Are there types of clothing he doesn't like to wear?
  • How does he behave for personal grooming such as nail clipping, brushing hair and teeth?
  • Is his bedroom kept cool or warm?
  • How does he react to car rides?  Has he been restrained in a car seat before?
  • Does he have any known siblings?
  • Can Sean leave any of the toys and/or blanket he brought with him?  We are hoping he can use the blanket regularly between the two trips so that it becomes a comforting, familiar item to him to help with the trip home at pick-up in several months' time.
  • If he is attached to a certain orphanage-owned plaything at pick-up, would it be possible for him to keep the item which we will replace with another new toy for the orphanage to keep?
  • How much longer would he have had in the orphanage before being transferred?
  • Does he have any personal possessions?
  • What comforts him?
  • What are his favorites, if known (color, animal, activity, etc.)?

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